Doubtful of a Purpose

Daily I struggle with a constant almost looming idea that there is no purpose for us to be alive. We live a life of work and then we die, and in all that we try to think of things that will make us feel better about the end. I have an enormous religious back ground and I can't seem to understand why it doesn't seem real to me anymore. I have lost my faith.

Time is something that we talk about all the...well, Time. We can’t go through the day without wondering “What time is it?”, “Where has the time gone?”, or maybe “Am I on time?” We focus so much on time that is causes stress in our lives. Time is something we can never control. It will continue pass by no matter how well we manage it or attempt to slow it down. Today a friend of mine asked me if I was going to attend my 10 year high school reunion next year. I hesitated for a second and couldn’t believe it had already been 10 years. Throughout our time here we go through different seasons. When we are young we go to school and live the life of a child. Once that has ended we move on to the next season. For some its college, and for some its work and for others it’s a mixture. Then for most there is a long season that is life. A career and a family are usually the product of this and it flies by as your family grows and grows up. Life continues on from this point and time continues to pass. Albert Einstein once said “The only reason for time is so that everything doesn’t happen at once.” If life happened all at once we would we would miss out on so much. In Ecclesiastes the writer tells us there is a time for everything. “For everything there is a season, a time for every activity under heaven. A time to be born and a time to die. A time to plant and a time to harvest. A time to kill and a time to heal. A time to tear down and a time to build up. A time to cry and a time to laugh. A time to grieve and a time to dance. A time to scatter stones and a time to gather stones. A time to embrace and a time to turn away. A time to search and a time to quit searching. A time to keep and a time to throw away. A time to tear and a time to mend. A time to be quiet and a time to speak. A time to love and a time to hate. A time for war and a time for peace.”

Throughout life we experience such a complex mix of emotions that all come and go during different seasons of life but those emotions make life what it is. Everything has its time. At the end of this month I will be leaving Covenant. The next season of my life is about to begin and I will be moving to San Antonio Texas. I want everyone at Covenant to know that I have enjoyed the last 2 years serving as youth pastor. I have been very blessed by the relationships that I have built here and I hope that they will be lasting ones. I appreciate the opportunity to work with your students and many of you. Once someone told me that, “Time is free, but it’s priceless. You can’t own it, but you can use it. You can’t keep it, but you can spend it. Once you’ve lost it you can never get it back.” Thank you so much for your TIME Covenant. I have been blessed more than I have words for. It really is true, “Time flies when you are having fun. Thank you all for everything.

In Christ,

Matt Walker

NEW PHOTOS

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Take me out to the....Thunderstorm?

My favorite Minor League Baseball team is the Corpus Christi Hooks, and for good reason, my girlfriend is from Corpus Christi. Personally I don’t really follow Minor League sports and for that matter neither does she, but whenever I am visiting her and the Hooks are in town we go to a game. On the Southwest side of San Antonio, far away from the Riverwalk and the Alamo in a very undesirable part of the city, sits Nelson W. Wolff Stadium. Wolff is your average AAA ballpark, very simple and very small only seating 4 or 5 thousand. Most of the South side of San Antonio is very flat and you can see for what seems like miles. As we began to sing “Take me out to the ballgame” during the 7th inning stretch I noticed lightening far off in the distance. As more lightening flashed through the sky I noticed that the wind was beginning to pick up. In every direction I could see flashes in the sky that looked like outstretched fingers reaching but for only a second and then they were gone. The wind was stronger now; my program and empty soda cup were both blown off the top of the dugout that I had used as a tabletop. I was so caught up in the commotion I forgot the game was still going on. I couldn’t believe we were all still sitting there watching the game as if nothing was happening around us. I’m not one to worry about storms since I was raised in Alabama but I was beginning to grow a little concerned. As the storm grew even closer the game entered the 9th inning. The flags on the center field wall were whipping so hard from the wind I thought they were about to be torn off and blown away. Unfortunately the Hooks went 3 up 3 down and the Home team was up to bat. The storm was right on top of us. With lightening and thunder all around us the game continued. We began to head for the car when we heard it. A crack so loud it could have been thunder, but it wasn’t, it was a bat. The batter for the San Antonio Missions hit a walk off homerun to end the game with a score of 1-0. Just as he rounded the bases and headed to home plate the bottom fell out.
I know we can all relate to this. I’m not one for sports metaphors but we have all been in situations like that. Life can be difficult sometimes. Storms rage all around us and it seems like there is more pressure than we can handle. I know that batter must have felt enormous pressure. My mother always quotes this passage from Proverbs, “Trust in the LORD with all you heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight.” My prayer this week is that we begin to trust God through the storms in our lives and know when everything is crashing in around us he is there and he can be our strength through it until the end.

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Jesus 4 Sale

As I flipped through the some 500 channels, that digital cable offers, I noticed that 3:00 A.M. had come and gone. “How could that infomercial have been 2 hours long?” Honestly you have to love the story line of the infomercial for the Magic Bullet. Mimi and Mack, a young couple, invite some friends over for breakfast. They are all hanging out in the kitchen, which for some reason has a live studio audience and looks a lot like a T.V. studio. Several of their friends come in including my personal favorite Hazel. Hazel was decked out in a colorful house dress, a pair of 50’s style glasses, and a cigarette hanging out of her mouth. For some reason Mimi and Mick are surprisingly perky, I suppose it may have something to do with the studio audience in their kitchen. They go on to entertain this small group of friends with the magical wonders of the tiny, bullet-shaped food processor so eloquently named The Magic Bullet. While Hazel and the rest of their guests look on in amazement, the Magic Bullet whips up smoothies, grinds coffee, scrambles omelets, and so much more! Sounds to good to be true, but millions of people called in and willingly read off their credit card numbers so they could receive this wonderful culinary creation. I did a little research and in the first year, The Magic Bullet made of a quarter of a billion dollars. This particular infomercial has been translated into dozens of languages and has been sold in 60 different countries. I can’t believe that I spent so much time watching this infomercial, and I also can’t believe I could remember it so well. I was so captivated by the terrible acting and cheaply made miniature food processor, that I lost all track of time. We have all been there, watching T.V. late at night and being overwhelmed by these amazing products. The Flowbee, the Thigh Master, or even Ronco GHL formula #9 spray on hair have kept people just like me up all night in awe and wonderment. When was the last time you were lost in the awe and wonderment of your Savior. Paul writes this in Colossians, “I want them to have complete confidence that they understand God’s mysterious plan, which is Christ himself. In him lie hidden all the treasures of wisdom and knowledge.” Jesus doesn’t have to try and sell me a product or make a flashy infomercial. His life, death, and resurrection are so amazing and so awesome, that it is a mystery to me why I don’t spend more time captivated by Him. Jesus came to Earth and completely changed it forever without selling a thing. I pray that this week we spend more time in awe of our great Savior as we continue to celebrate his resurrection.
In Christ,
Matt Walker

Henry's Obsession

Although the weather doesn’t feel like it every other day, spring is in fact here. This means flowers are in bloom, leaves are budding on once naked trees, and the grass is turning from a brownish gray to a deep emerald green. For me this means swollen itchy red eyes, sneezing fits when I walk out the door, and the occasional enjoyable outdoor moment. But we will save my struggle with the first 3 or 4 weeks of spring for another time.

Yard work is a really popular activity this time of year.

As soon as we see a pretty sunny day we head out to the yard and start the clean up from a long winter. My parents live on several acres of heavily wooded land, so their clean up effort is usually pretty intense. Over the last few weekends my dog and I have tried to do our part in the clean up of their leaf covered yard. Basically that means I blow the leaves for hours on end and Henry (my dog) plays in the piles of leaves that I had so neatly made at the edge of the yard. Henry has found a new mission though. He has decided his new job in yard is pest control. After raking and blowing the leaves off the enormous yard we discovered hundreds of exits to what seems to be a huge underground system of tiny tunnels. These burrows are the home of the common pest known as the vole, also called meadow mice.


Henry has taken it upon himself to eradicate these burrowing bothers from the yard. His method is simple, he sniffs until he finds a hole and then he begins to dig. The only other thing that I have seen Henry do in his life with this much intensity is eat. His focus becomes obsessive as he digs a hole, 10 times the size of the tiny burrow in hopes of catching one of these pests. The problem is that Henry’s method is no good. He is an almost 80 pound dog which should point out that he isn’t the most graceful so all he really does is make a bigger mess than the voles did. Henry’s obsession has started to become destructive.


Here's Henry napping after his vole chasing!
When he is outside at my parent’s house all he can think about is chasing the voles. Just like Henry chases the voles we also chase things in our lives that distract us from the bigger picture and can become destructive in our lives. As we look to the Bible we see a pattern of chasers throughout. Moses chased the Promised Land, Joseph chased a dream, David chased after God’s own heart. What do you chase? My prayer is that we will be like David and chase after the heart of God, instead of being like Henry and chasing after things that are of this world that only end up being destructive to us and the people around us. Our obsession should be with Christ and Christ alone.

Just testing out the text to blog feature. Have a nice day.

Flight of the Aggravated

Do you ever get angry? I do. One of my greatest struggles in life has been learning to control my temper. It is only by the grace of God that I have control over it now. But every now and then I have one of those days. You know what I’m talking about when I say “those days”, one where nothing seems to go right and everyone is against you. I had one of those days, the final day of my vacation. My vacation was coming to a close and it was absolutely perfect. Not a single thing went wrong the entire trip until the last day. I love to travel. There is only one problem with that, I hate airports.



The lines, the crowds, and the waiting all add to the anxiety of surviving an airport. Airport security always seems to make me a little nervous, even though I know I am of no threat to national security, I still get uneasy standing in that line. It’s my turn, I have emptied my pockets, removed my laptop from its case, and now it is time to pass through the metal detector. Since neither the TSA guy or myself could find the source of alarm, I was taken to an isolated area to receive a quite aggressive pat down, in my underwear I might add. I was clean, go figure? The TSA agent was so rude and I could feel myself getting ready to fire of a sarcastic comment. Instead I snatched up my things and stormed off toward my gate. I arrive just in time to hear the announcement that my flight was canceled. Then I heard an announcement over the P.A. " Passenger Matthew Walker please come to the service desk." The anger is growing. The airline employee begins her long and insincere apology for my inconvenience. She went on to tell me that she would put me on standby for the last flight to Dallas so that I could catch the last flight to Birmingham or I would be stuck over night in Houston. "The flight to Dallas is full but maybe we can get you on.", she said in a cute little voice as if she were talking to a small child. I was not happy. An hour later I boarded the plane. I arrived in Dallas with about 15 minutes to reach my gate for the connecting flight, so needless to say I was in a hurry. I was on my feet as soon as the seat belt sign was turned off and within seconds all of belongings were collected and I was ready to exit. Yeah right! I had never seen so many old ladies in such a small place. About 10 minutes later I was finally out of the jet way rushing to the screens to check my flight info. "DELAYED" in flashing red letters was what I was greeted with as I found my gate number.



My excitement faded. After 5 gate changes,3 hours worth of delays, and a greasy airport Chinese Food dinner, I finally left Dallas. It was 10:00 P.M. when I boarded the plane. As the attendant took my ticket she said "Have a nice flight sir." to which I replied "Yeah right.", this was not going to be a "nice flight". I usually try to get an isle seat so I can stretch out my legs. Usually the attendants say excuse me when they are coming through with the drink cart, but not on this flight. I was half asleep when my knee was rammed with the cart. I almost lost it. The flight attendant didn't say a word, no apology, nothing.



The flight was almost over and I couldn’t get back to sleep so I reached into my backpack to find my book. I pulled it out to find that it was covered in shampoo. "How could this get any worse?", is what I was thinking when I pulled out my laptop. It was covered in shampoo. There were no words to explain how angry I was. I didn’t say another word to any one, claimed my luggage and went storming into the parking deck. My friend dropped off my car and gave me directions on where to find it. He told me the wrong floor so I walked all over looking for it when it was right above me. I was furious. I got into my car, slammed the door and then looked at the clock. It was 12:30 and I still had an hour drive. The next events of my night involved screaming obscenities at the top of my lungs and beating the steering wheel. After it was all over I took a deep breath, put the car in drive, and started the drive home. Anger is something we all experience. Sometimes we are angry and we don’t even know why. In the book of James chapter 1:20 it says “a man’s anger does not bring about the righteous life that God desires.” We waste a lot of time angry about things that don’t even matter. My anger did not change my circumstances, if anything it made it worse. Life is too short to be angry all the time.

In Christ

Matt Walker

Anyone who starts their newsletter article with "I enjoy eating-- too much" is probably a fatty... haha

I enjoy eating -- too much, I guess.

I really enjoy shopping at Sam's Club especially on the weekends, the free sample days! As you come around the corner there they are in the little Dixie cups or on a tray with colored toothpicks, displayed in all their glory by a hostess at the end of an aisle.

"Buy one get one free today. Wouldn't they be great for dinner?" she suggests, hoping I'll put some in my cart. I don't know why though, it's not like she gets commission for selling frozen fajitas. But I must confess that little sample does make me think they would be great for dinner.

Last Sunday morning when we took communion, I thought about it as a small portion from a different kind of Feast. I thought about the taste of the bread on my tongue and the sweetness of the juice, and I began to imagine.

I think about what it would have been like to sit there with the disciples at the Last Supper. I can imagine listening to their conversations, laughing, and just enjoying fellowship. While I wasn't there to be served personally, I feel like they saved some for me so I could have a taste and feel a part of the great fellowship of Jesus' Table that now circles the world.



Or is the bread and cup just a little taste of a feast to come, the fellowship at Christ's Table in heaven? The Bible speaks of drinking from the cup with Jesus in the Kingdom of God; of sitting down with Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob; of participating in the Marriage Supper of the Lamb. The tiny portion I taste on Sunday morning whets my appetite and reminds me of my personal invitation to this Feast.

It's not much to eat, I suppose -- a fragment of bread and a sip, just a sip of juice. But it's enough to recall who I am. To realize how privileged I am to be able to call myself a follower of Christ. How awesome is it to know that my name appears on the guest list for the Great Feast to come?

"As often as you eat this bread and drink this cup," Paul tells us, "you proclaim the death of Jesus until he comes." Yep, it's a pretty tiny portion of the Feast, but it's enough for now. More than enough.



In Christ
Matt

A years worth of Church Newsletter Articles

Picture this--

It's Tuesday morning, the only morning during the week that I get to sleep in and I am doing exactly that. Then suddenly I hear my iPhone ring! CPC is on the caller ID (that's the church I work for). Then I realize that I have once again forgotten that it was my week to write the cover article for the church newsletter. So half asleep I answer the phone and make some excuse and promise that I will have it as soon as possible. Then starts the long and sometimes stressful process of coming up with 350 words to put on the cover of The Covenant Window (newsletter title). I'm sure you are saying "350 Words? That's it? Piece of cake!", well it's not. You have to remember my readers are mostly retirees and a great number of them are former educators. Our congregation is chock-full of former professors and educational administrators, not to mention the rest of the bunch who are also well educated. Ross is a retired English professor from the University of Alabama and he loves to comment on my writing. But with an audience like this one feels a little pressure to "WRITE GOOD." I personally think that most of my articles are cheesy and sometimes lame but aside from the occasional punctuation error or my refusal to proof read, I get pretty positive feedback. I must confess that I do on occasion read others writing for inspiration on the Tuesdays that I feel unoriginal but for the most part it is all inspired from daily events in my life. I decided to share them with you so over the next few days I'm going to post my articles. I hope you enjoy... or not whatever... haha

Parenting Teens: My experience

For the last week I have been staying with 2 teenagers filling in for a stay-at-home mom who is "out of town". The father of the boys works in TV and is currently on location filming the final season of some TV show about an ugly girl for one of those 3 letter networks... or something like that. Anyway, I have spent the last week cooking meals, washing dishes, waking kids up for school,handing out lunch money, and many other tasks that a parent of teenagers does.

I am not ready to be a parent... at all. One of the kids I am staying with has A.S.D. (Autism Spectrum Disorder) and can be a hand full if he starts having a melt down. The other is a challenge as well, but in a different way. Both of these kids are going through a lot right now but this one really grasps the reality of this situation. He sees his family struggling and cant do anything about it. I can hear the frustration in his voice when family members and friends of the family call to check on him. He told me yesterday he wishes people would stop calling. "We are fine!, and we can handle this! Why cant they understand?", he said to me last night. I struggle with finding the words to say and struggle even more to try and understand what he is going through. I try to get him to talk to me about things but when he does all I can do is listen because I dont know what to say. I pray for him daily, but I wish I had words to say that would help.
I'm really fortunate to have the family I have. I grew up with both parents around all the time, who love each other very much. We went through very few hardships (at least very few that they let us see) and had very few conflicts. For all of that I feel truly blessed. I can not relate with the problems that this family currently is facing but my heart breaks every time I think about them.
Life is hard... Parenting is hard... it seems like everything is hard. Things get complicated and sometimes we turn to the wrong places for release. We are fragile beings not just physically but also emotionally and spiritually and sometimes life can get the best of our emotional-selves. Parents, you have a new found respect from me and what I am doing this week is only scratching the surface. I hope and pray that when life gets the best of us and we feel like we have nowhere to turn, that we turn to the guy with the answers.

"Then Jesus said, "Come to me, all of you who are weary and carry heavy burdens, and I will give you rest."