I have decided that regardless of what I try I still find it really hard to love stupid people. In fact I find it really difficult not to get completely pissed off at the overwhelming stupidity of some people.
My roommate is a great example of a stupid person.
He is doing way to much right now to cause me grief, and it all has to do with his stupid decisions.
I have found myself currently working a second job at a swimming pool supply store and I must say even some of the most educated people can be completely ignorant and hard headed.
If you are one of the customers that I deal with please consider this. I get paid to solve your problems. I have been trained and have several years experience in this field. I know what I am talking about, please dont second guess me. Pool store customers remind me of sheep... They know nothing... People hear this, I am the shepherd and you are the sheep... Follow me blindly and listen to my words and heed my warnings. I know crap about pools.
Also you know that I am a minister of sorts from previous entries, I'm not sure how much longer that will last but we will see. God has blessed me thus far... I should work to be more faithful.
The world is in an uproar right now... The face of our nation is changing. Tolerance is being shouted from the rooftops, and I ask "What do we do?" "How should I react to the ever changing times?"
More to come
Friday, July 10, 2009
Friday, January 30, 2009
I know now that my joy should have no regard for my circumstances...
Joy has been something that has not been present in my life for a while. I don't know where it has gone but I can tell an extreme difference in my overall being. Why is this? What happened?
As the Christian I say I am, I am told in Gods word to "be full of joy"?
Always be full of joy in the Lord. I say it again—rejoice! Phil 4:4
How am I to always be joyful? Lately it seems that joy is something that is just out of reach. Is it really possible to be joyful all the time? Even on those rare occasions when things actually go right I still find it difficult to find joy.
Be joyful always; pray continually... Thes 5:16-17
Maybe that is the answer. Pray continually... Maybe that's how you find joy. The answer is still unknown to me. But I am learning this... "I know now that my joy should have no regard for my circumstances..." I read that this week and it has helped change my perspective. I should be able to find joy all the time, in everyday life. My circumstances should not affect my joy. God is good... And should seek him and find joy in that...
So, I'm all for just going ahead and having a good time—the best possible. The only earthly good men and women can look forward to is to eat and drink well and have a good time—compensation for the struggle for survival these few years God gives us on earth.
As the Christian I say I am, I am told in Gods word to "be full of joy"?
Always be full of joy in the Lord. I say it again—rejoice! Phil 4:4
How am I to always be joyful? Lately it seems that joy is something that is just out of reach. Is it really possible to be joyful all the time? Even on those rare occasions when things actually go right I still find it difficult to find joy.
Be joyful always; pray continually... Thes 5:16-17
Maybe that is the answer. Pray continually... Maybe that's how you find joy. The answer is still unknown to me. But I am learning this... "I know now that my joy should have no regard for my circumstances..." I read that this week and it has helped change my perspective. I should be able to find joy all the time, in everyday life. My circumstances should not affect my joy. God is good... And should seek him and find joy in that...
So, I'm all for just going ahead and having a good time—the best possible. The only earthly good men and women can look forward to is to eat and drink well and have a good time—compensation for the struggle for survival these few years God gives us on earth.
Ecclesiastes 8:15 (The Message)
Tuesday, January 13, 2009
"Not All Who Wander Are Lost..."
A famous quote taken from J.R.R. Tolkien's masterpiece Lord Of The Rings....
I stumbled across this the other day and it has really stuck with me. Its a very popular quote, actually one of my favorite musicians has an album with the same name, I guess I over looked that. The reason for this post has nothing to do with that, nor does it have to do with what Tolkien meant when he wrote it in context, it has to do with my interpretation of it in my life......
For the past few months I have felt like a wanderer. I feel as if I am very shallow in every aspect of my life. My friendships tend to be shallow, relationships with the opposite sex are even more shallow. I am often puzzled by my actions because even I can't explain them. I am normally pretty outgoing. Now I feel as if I have become very disconnected from people and although I am not wandering physically, I feel that subconsciously I am wandering around my little world. There is no direction, no agenda, and no destination... I just wander.
This can seem frightening at times, but then I came across the quote. "Not all who wander are lost"
I now realize that the origin of all of this can be traced back to my spiritual life. The past few months I have felt as if I have been so cynical about my spiritual life and why I am not sure. So many things have happened over the past few months that have made me hate organized religion. Because of this I have distanced myself from it. I know what you are thinking, "But Matt you work at a church, how can this be?" Well it is possible to work at a church and not feel God. I have not felt his presence in a noticeable way in several months. I left my home church at the end of September for many reasons, but none of which I made public. I told my students and parents that it was just time to go, I "felt" God telling me it was time. That is not entirely true. It was time to go, but not from God, from man. I was constantly disrespected and undermined by my supervisor, who also happened to be my pastor, and best friends father. He was one person to my face and another behind my back, saying malicious things about me to my peers who then came to me in shock telling me of the untrue things he had said. That broke my heart and began driving me away. Then my church proceeded to make decisions that seemed very selfish in my eyes. For instance they bought an electronic sign that was priced at more than half of what the church budgeted for missions... This also a little disheartening. I began to realize that the overall vision of American Christianity is very shallow, at least the way I have seen it. This is the way I see it... The people build a church, they make it huge and flashy to attract people. Then they create perks for going there, coffee shops, books stores, food courts, etc. Also they advertise, T.V. commercials, billboards, newspapers, and lets not forget huge light up $75,000 Church signs. All this because they want to share the gospel of Christ, well in a sense. The church popularity game then comes into play. My church is better than your church, or "I didn't like what the pastor said today so we are going to try a new church next week", "oh I heard that new church gives you a free t-shirt and a coffee mug if you come on Sunday morning". OH GOD SAVE ME FROM YOUR FOLLOWERS!!! I have become so discontent with the church and my discontentment is separating me from God. I grew up thinking these things were OK. But as I have matured so has my faith, but what about the world around me. People getting so caught up in flash that they miss the point.
I have grown weary of the church and I am very hesitant to get to involved in the regular goings on of the church. And so I wandered
Politics have also turned me away from "Christians". Not all, but some. Before the recent election I was attacked many times by "Christians" who thought that it was absurd that I would vote for a Democrat and be a Youth Pastor. It is very hard to be liberal and work in an Evangelical church in the South. I did it though, quietly I took the abuse and the slander, until I had enough, Christian Politics turned me away. So I wandered...
Hypocrisy has no place in the church at all... what is worse, some one who knows they are a sinner, or some one who is but pretends that they are not? Hypocrisy turned me away. So I wandered.
Matthew 9:10-13
While Jesus was having dinner at Matthew's house, many tax collectors and "sinners" came and ate with him and his disciples. When the Pharisees saw this, they asked his disciples, "Why does your teacher eat with tax collectors and 'sinners'?" On hearing this, Jesus said, "It is not the healthy who need a doctor, but the sick. But go and learn what this means: 'I desire mercy, not sacrifice.' For I have not come to call the righteous, but sinners." Mercy not sacrifice? Love not works. I have not come to the righteous, but sinners.
Amos 8:11-12
I stumbled across this the other day and it has really stuck with me. Its a very popular quote, actually one of my favorite musicians has an album with the same name, I guess I over looked that. The reason for this post has nothing to do with that, nor does it have to do with what Tolkien meant when he wrote it in context, it has to do with my interpretation of it in my life......
For the past few months I have felt like a wanderer. I feel as if I am very shallow in every aspect of my life. My friendships tend to be shallow, relationships with the opposite sex are even more shallow. I am often puzzled by my actions because even I can't explain them. I am normally pretty outgoing. Now I feel as if I have become very disconnected from people and although I am not wandering physically, I feel that subconsciously I am wandering around my little world. There is no direction, no agenda, and no destination... I just wander.
This can seem frightening at times, but then I came across the quote. "Not all who wander are lost"
I now realize that the origin of all of this can be traced back to my spiritual life. The past few months I have felt as if I have been so cynical about my spiritual life and why I am not sure. So many things have happened over the past few months that have made me hate organized religion. Because of this I have distanced myself from it. I know what you are thinking, "But Matt you work at a church, how can this be?" Well it is possible to work at a church and not feel God. I have not felt his presence in a noticeable way in several months. I left my home church at the end of September for many reasons, but none of which I made public. I told my students and parents that it was just time to go, I "felt" God telling me it was time. That is not entirely true. It was time to go, but not from God, from man. I was constantly disrespected and undermined by my supervisor, who also happened to be my pastor, and best friends father. He was one person to my face and another behind my back, saying malicious things about me to my peers who then came to me in shock telling me of the untrue things he had said. That broke my heart and began driving me away. Then my church proceeded to make decisions that seemed very selfish in my eyes. For instance they bought an electronic sign that was priced at more than half of what the church budgeted for missions... This also a little disheartening. I began to realize that the overall vision of American Christianity is very shallow, at least the way I have seen it. This is the way I see it... The people build a church, they make it huge and flashy to attract people. Then they create perks for going there, coffee shops, books stores, food courts, etc. Also they advertise, T.V. commercials, billboards, newspapers, and lets not forget huge light up $75,000 Church signs. All this because they want to share the gospel of Christ, well in a sense. The church popularity game then comes into play. My church is better than your church, or "I didn't like what the pastor said today so we are going to try a new church next week", "oh I heard that new church gives you a free t-shirt and a coffee mug if you come on Sunday morning". OH GOD SAVE ME FROM YOUR FOLLOWERS!!! I have become so discontent with the church and my discontentment is separating me from God. I grew up thinking these things were OK. But as I have matured so has my faith, but what about the world around me. People getting so caught up in flash that they miss the point.
I have grown weary of the church and I am very hesitant to get to involved in the regular goings on of the church. And so I wandered
Politics have also turned me away from "Christians". Not all, but some. Before the recent election I was attacked many times by "Christians" who thought that it was absurd that I would vote for a Democrat and be a Youth Pastor. It is very hard to be liberal and work in an Evangelical church in the South. I did it though, quietly I took the abuse and the slander, until I had enough, Christian Politics turned me away. So I wandered...
Hypocrisy has no place in the church at all... what is worse, some one who knows they are a sinner, or some one who is but pretends that they are not? Hypocrisy turned me away. So I wandered.
Matthew 9:10-13
While Jesus was having dinner at Matthew's house, many tax collectors and "sinners" came and ate with him and his disciples. When the Pharisees saw this, they asked his disciples, "Why does your teacher eat with tax collectors and 'sinners'?" On hearing this, Jesus said, "It is not the healthy who need a doctor, but the sick. But go and learn what this means: 'I desire mercy, not sacrifice.' For I have not come to call the righteous, but sinners." Mercy not sacrifice? Love not works. I have not come to the righteous, but sinners.
Amos 8:11-12
11 "The days are coming," declares the Sovereign LORD,
"when I will send a famine through the land—
not a famine of food or a thirst for water,
but a famine of hearing the words of the LORD.
12 Men will stagger from sea to sea
and wander from north to east,
searching for the word of the LORD,
but they will not find it.
I have been wandering for quite some time, but "not all who wander are lost..."
Wednesday, November 19, 2008
One week away...The dreaded holiday season rears its ugly head...
Don't get me wrong I love the holidays...but...
It's that time again... Fall is in the air with Winter nipping at its heals. It's cold outside and the trees have shed their leafy clothing revealing their naked branches. Yep you know what that means... The holidays are here. The marathon starts one week from tomorrow with the kick-off of my dreaded holiday season. It seems like only a few days ago I was rejoicing that it was over, but here it is again rearing its ugly head and laughing in my face. My family is coming in from all parts of the country to our sleepy little college football town, to celebrate the favorite American past time of getting together, eating way to much, and then getting your feelings hurt by something your crazy grandmother says about you. That's my prediction for the coming week. But after Thanksgiving it's a non-stop shop/stress fest until Christmas, then you have to recover through New Years and then life starts again... I for one don't normally believe in stress but somehow the holidays bring out the worst in me. I am very fortunate that my family drinks. I do think that the only way I will make it through all this is with some sort of alcoholic libation in my hand. My family and I differ on so many things, religion, politics, world view, the whole shebang. But one thing we agree on is no matter what is going on its ok to have a drink in your hand while its going on...
So lets raise our glasses to a happy holiday season... Bring on the booze, and laugh so you don't cry...
It's that time again... Fall is in the air with Winter nipping at its heals. It's cold outside and the trees have shed their leafy clothing revealing their naked branches. Yep you know what that means... The holidays are here. The marathon starts one week from tomorrow with the kick-off of my dreaded holiday season. It seems like only a few days ago I was rejoicing that it was over, but here it is again rearing its ugly head and laughing in my face. My family is coming in from all parts of the country to our sleepy little college football town, to celebrate the favorite American past time of getting together, eating way to much, and then getting your feelings hurt by something your crazy grandmother says about you. That's my prediction for the coming week. But after Thanksgiving it's a non-stop shop/stress fest until Christmas, then you have to recover through New Years and then life starts again... I for one don't normally believe in stress but somehow the holidays bring out the worst in me. I am very fortunate that my family drinks. I do think that the only way I will make it through all this is with some sort of alcoholic libation in my hand. My family and I differ on so many things, religion, politics, world view, the whole shebang. But one thing we agree on is no matter what is going on its ok to have a drink in your hand while its going on...
So lets raise our glasses to a happy holiday season... Bring on the booze, and laugh so you don't cry...
Tuesday, November 18, 2008
Contentment with the mundane.... Home Improvement Edition
As of late it seems that my life has become more and more normal. I noticed it this morning while watching and episode of Home Improvement, a 90's sitcom staring Tim Allen in case you forgot, on TBS. I realized that I had seen the episode at least 3 times in the last 4 or 5 months. I then began to think about my life. Every week is exactly the same. Monday and Tuesday I get up turn on the T.V. and watch my 2 episodes of Home Improvement before heading to work. Wednesday I do the church thing. Thursday, my one chance for adventure, I wake up late and talk about doing something awesome then lay around all day thinking about the great outdoors. Friday is an all day snoozefest. I sit at the Pool store for 8 hours and wait for possible customers. Saturday I wake up and do it again for half a day. Then its home for an afternoon of football and house cleaning. Sunday I'm back at church. Then its time to rinse and repeat.
Have I grown content with life? Am I at the point where I'm ok with doing the same thing over and over again. There was a time in my life where I could not stand the mundane any longer and had to get out. Maybe its time for a real change. Maybe I should move. Will the contentment follow me there? Who knows.
My life has been an adventure so far, and I don't want that to end.
Home Impovement is a fantastic show, it went down hill after J.T.T. left, but the show is a perfect example of how doing the same thing over and over again won't ever bring happiness, or good ratings. (insert cheap humor here)
Contentment isn't a bad thing. I should be happy to be alive and healthy. To have friends, and a family that loves me. Is that enough? Who really knows.
Be Happy and Watch Home Improvement at 11 on TBS
Have I grown content with life? Am I at the point where I'm ok with doing the same thing over and over again. There was a time in my life where I could not stand the mundane any longer and had to get out. Maybe its time for a real change. Maybe I should move. Will the contentment follow me there? Who knows.
My life has been an adventure so far, and I don't want that to end.
Home Impovement is a fantastic show, it went down hill after J.T.T. left, but the show is a perfect example of how doing the same thing over and over again won't ever bring happiness, or good ratings. (insert cheap humor here)
Contentment isn't a bad thing. I should be happy to be alive and healthy. To have friends, and a family that loves me. Is that enough? Who really knows.
Be Happy and Watch Home Improvement at 11 on TBS
Election Day Woes...
My Election Day Woes
Today is election day in the "United" States of America, and I can honestly say I have never been more disgusted to be a Southern American than I am today. I was upset to find out that the local Democrat headquarters was vandalized, or that my Obama Biden magnet was stolen off my car the day I put it on. Despite that ugly looks that my Obama 08 button got me at the church that I have to vote at, I proudly walked into that booth and voted Obama. The woman handing me my ballot never mad eye contact with me, I saw her look at my button, sigh and look down. All the pleasantries that she had exchanged with all the people ahead of me were not wasted on me. But none of those things upset me as much as what I heard today. All politics aside this should offend you regardless of your political affiliation.
In my past I have made many racially charged comments that have been derogatory and offensive and for that I am sorry. I regret my ignorance. Over the past few years as a Christian I have learned that RACISM HAS NO PLACE IN THE LIFE, HEART, AND MIND OF A CHRISTIAN. In the south, a place where there is a church on every corner and "everyone" is a Christian this racism still reigns true. Why is that? Why is there so much hate from a "Christian" nation? When I hear things like I heard today I can honestly say that I am not "Proud to be an American"
I recently read the Constitution of the "United" States of America, so that I would be knowledgeable of it and what it stands for. Today I decided to read the Declaration of Independence, and there is one part that we all know and remember. "We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created EQUAL, and are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty, and the pursuit of Happiness."
This afternoon someone told me that they had always voted democrat but would not vote for Barack Obama because he was a "Nigger" I literally sat there speechless. I didn't know what to say. That word was uttered at least 10 more times in that conversation. I can honestly say that I have never been offended as much by that word as I was today. Because of my life experience of living in other countries where I am minority I have learned that skin color is only that, a color. A race doesn't make a person who they are.
Today I voted for the first African American to ever run for the office of the President of the United States, I can honestly say that I am proud of that. Barack Obama went into this over a year ago as an underdog and going into today he was the front runner. I am proud of him for his ability to over come such odds. The "United" States of America is on the verge of history being made. I hope and pray that if/when Obama is elected that we as citizens of this once great country will put an end to racism.
One day I hope and pray that we can actually be the United States of America
Jesus said LOVE the LORD with all your heart, and LOVE your neighbor like you LOVE yourself... I dont think he said love your white neighbor with all your heart and hate the others.
Red and yellow, black, or white they are precious in HIS sight :)
("United" States is in reference to the questionable status of the states or the country actually being united.)
Today is election day in the "United" States of America, and I can honestly say I have never been more disgusted to be a Southern American than I am today. I was upset to find out that the local Democrat headquarters was vandalized, or that my Obama Biden magnet was stolen off my car the day I put it on. Despite that ugly looks that my Obama 08 button got me at the church that I have to vote at, I proudly walked into that booth and voted Obama. The woman handing me my ballot never mad eye contact with me, I saw her look at my button, sigh and look down. All the pleasantries that she had exchanged with all the people ahead of me were not wasted on me. But none of those things upset me as much as what I heard today. All politics aside this should offend you regardless of your political affiliation.
In my past I have made many racially charged comments that have been derogatory and offensive and for that I am sorry. I regret my ignorance. Over the past few years as a Christian I have learned that RACISM HAS NO PLACE IN THE LIFE, HEART, AND MIND OF A CHRISTIAN. In the south, a place where there is a church on every corner and "everyone" is a Christian this racism still reigns true. Why is that? Why is there so much hate from a "Christian" nation? When I hear things like I heard today I can honestly say that I am not "Proud to be an American"
I recently read the Constitution of the "United" States of America, so that I would be knowledgeable of it and what it stands for. Today I decided to read the Declaration of Independence, and there is one part that we all know and remember. "We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created EQUAL, and are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty, and the pursuit of Happiness."
This afternoon someone told me that they had always voted democrat but would not vote for Barack Obama because he was a "Nigger" I literally sat there speechless. I didn't know what to say. That word was uttered at least 10 more times in that conversation. I can honestly say that I have never been offended as much by that word as I was today. Because of my life experience of living in other countries where I am minority I have learned that skin color is only that, a color. A race doesn't make a person who they are.
Today I voted for the first African American to ever run for the office of the President of the United States, I can honestly say that I am proud of that. Barack Obama went into this over a year ago as an underdog and going into today he was the front runner. I am proud of him for his ability to over come such odds. The "United" States of America is on the verge of history being made. I hope and pray that if/when Obama is elected that we as citizens of this once great country will put an end to racism.
One day I hope and pray that we can actually be the United States of America
Jesus said LOVE the LORD with all your heart, and LOVE your neighbor like you LOVE yourself... I dont think he said love your white neighbor with all your heart and hate the others.
Red and yellow, black, or white they are precious in HIS sight :)
("United" States is in reference to the questionable status of the states or the country actually being united.)
Sunday, August 3, 2008
Did you realize....
So God has been working on my heart lately and I just have to talk about... I realized that God is going to work with or without me. I am not necessary for Gods plan to be carried out. What a privilege it is to be chosen by God to do his work. To think that even though he could do it on his own he gives me the opportunity to take part in what he is doing. Me, and all my imperfections, doing the work of the creator of the universe... I am in Awe of that. The definition of Awe by the way is... When I have nothing more to say about God than, "Wow". The only word that can leave my mouth about God is Wow. It is so amazing to be loved so much by such a great God...
Always more to come
Always more to come
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