Today is the beginning of the rest of your life.

This morning I woke with the ever to familiar disheartening feeling that the world is going to end. Daily I worry, even if for only a few minutes, that something terrible is going to happen and civilization and the world as we know it will be no more. Some days its the threat of nuclear war and other days, more humorously its the zombie apocalypse. But regardless I find myself worrying. I have noticed a lot of doubt in my life as of late and real fear of death has set in. This is a subject that I am not entirely comfortable talking about and nor is it something I want to think of for more than a few seconds, since the feeling I get is intense more than a few seconds of it makes me sick. The thoughts happen every where. I live about 5 miles from the San Antonio airport and my apartment gets a lot of air traffic. In fact my patio window, while giving a beautiful view of the back of a Wal-Mart, is perfect for watching planes coming and going. When I watch them its almost like I am waiting for them to crash. I don't really understand these things. Life just ends, sometimes faster than it begins and we rarely have any control of it. We can attempt many things to try to extend our lives but our time will come.
This is where the warm fuzzy live life to the fullest message should be inserted...
SORRY FOLKS!
Im not there yet. I don't think I can begin to feel that way until I get over the looming death and destruction of life.
THE END